I need you

Thursday, July 24, 2008 Liyana Hanim 12 Comments

I always pride myself as being a strong person,inside.When something upsets me or when I get sad,I cry a little,and then it's done.I don't need a boyfriend to have fun either.I can have fun on my own with my friends and family.How else did I manage to stay single all these years?

Today,I had a conversation with 2 of my friends at a restaurant.One,just broke up with her boyfriend.Another,have been single for 7 months.And they find it hard not being in a relationship and both of them want to be in one again.I told them that hey,you guys should find me a boyfriend because I haven't been in a relationship in a long time compared to both of you.And then they said that for you,being single is something that is normal but for us,it's hard not being in a relationship.I guess that's true.I've had this conversation with my bestfriend..What will happen when we do actually have a boyfriend?Because we are so used to being single...

After the conversation,I had a phone call that made me cried.My guy friend who have never seen me cry in front of him,quickly paid the bill.The phone call was from my mother.She asked me to not come back home(home in Shah Alam means my grandma's house) late because my dad will be coming to help carry my grandma into the house.I was like,wait a minute,nenek is out of the hospital(I was all blur because tomorrow I was supposed to pick up my mum from Puncak Alam & send her to HUKM so that she can take care of my grandma)??

My mum told me that the reason why my grandma was acting all insane-like(that for the past few days the doctor wanted to put her in the 'wad gila') is because she had a minor stroke which resulted with one of the fuse in her brain to be off...so that explains why she was deemed crazy by the hospital staff.So because of that,they can't operate her because she'll either die or be in a coma.They can't do anything anymore rather than just let her out of the hospital and go home.And my mum said that at home she will be bedridden and that means she has to wear diapers and that her time maybe soon because there's nothing left to do...

I am a strong person..I know that..But when I heard that,something inside of me just broke down.And I couldn't picture myself seeing my grandma waits for her time to come.It's too painful.And suddenly I felt the ache, and then I realize,that yeah,this is one of those moments where I wish,I really,really wish that I had a boyfriend to hug me and let me cry on his shoulder.Because really,that's what I want to do now.

Thanks a lot for my friends who were there to hear me tell the sad news to them and comfort me in my tears...Thanks so much to Tatie,Hanna,Napz&Syud.Izza,these are one of those times where I wish you weren't so far away...: (

My grandma is back here....My aunt's bought a wheelchair for her so that she can move around freely...My dad is here as well which makes me feel a whole lot better and not as sad!Because I tend to be a big emotional ball and likes to cry when it comes to things about my family because I love all of them so much...Sikit2 jer mesti senang menangis and tersentuh...(blame the meaning of my full name...huk2).My dad wants to bring my grandma to see an acupuncturist (like Pete in Private Practice)...I'm hoping for the best....


i wish i was there. send my regards to your family okay

Liyana said...

yeah i will...IMY...T_T

Anonymous said...

li.. i know how u feel.. i can really relate to ur situation..
i'm at home with my grandma who has stroke too and my aunt who has cancer.. all i can say is, no matter what, be strong.. hang in there ok? pray for her and i hope all is well.. (:

thatTAJ?! said...

its gonna be alrite okay
more hug* (assume i'm agirl okay)
:) we will always be there for u okay

Liyana said...

thanks aimi....
yes,we have to be strong kn???
ini sume dugaan & cabaran dlm kehidupan...(takes a deep breath)

tajul,thanks for the hugs...
..hey,u r a girl laa!!^_^
thanks so much!!!!muahxxxxx(pretend im a guy..haha)

it's ok if u be happy in front of her.
sebab my late great granny pun kn stroke n dia jadi marah klu nmpk one of us sedih2. tu bt dia lgi sedih n berat nk tgglkn kita.

my great granny dh meninggal on april but i just cried a lil. sebab xmau dia terseksa. it would be a lie la if now xnangis.

be strong n sll dekat ngan dia. bl dia skt,dia perlukan kita n pesakit stroke tend to be so panas baran. trust me. make her happy ok. :)

pray the best for her. Amiin.. :)

Liyana said...

thanks so much irma....
i'll keep that in mind..
panas baran??takut pulak sy jdnya..tp xpe..i'll try to be patient..
like a friend of mine said to me today,"Jika Allah nak kata jadi,maka jadilah ia".

The Tatie said...


Moja xmau gaduh kali ni said...


(I wont call u a witch in this post) :P

Hey, be strong owkeh? And I know you do. I never been so close to my granny, so I quite don't really know how it feels like. But, the utmost important thing is you have to be there for her and brighten up her days ok?!


Who said you need a bf to make you feel better? Friends can offer a lot more than you might be thinking of! :)

Send my regards to your family. Bnyakkan doa ok?!

Anonymous said...

im sorry to hear about your grandma.
we'll pray for her. keep being strong girl!

Acad said...

you can always cry on my shoulder..even tho it sounded icky and odd but yeah who cares..!

your boyfriendS(mind the plural) are always here for you..

Be strong coz I know you are!

*Wizard with eyeliner


w A said...

dear vivi,

hope you be strong. I've lost both my grandparents already. Cherish the love you have.