That Feeling

Monday, November 23, 2009 Liyana Hanim 0 Comments

I have family and friends who love me.Although I have to admit sometime being single does suck. You can’t drag your friends to each event that you want to go to. They have their own lives too. You can’t tell them everything about you because they have problems too. Sometimes I think it’s nice to have a guy who wants to take care of you for a change. It’s nice to be able to rely on someone for once.

Sometimes when I see my friends who are in love and there’s a lot of them around me,you can’t help but wonder what does it feel like? What does it feel like to truly miss someone that your heart hurts? What does it feel like being able have someone who is there at the end of the day, standing there with a big hug when everything isn’t right and just with that hug, makes everything alright? Yeah, I am actually a closet romantic. I haven’t had a chance to ‘come out’ yet..:P

I am not an impenetrable rock. Although some of my friends said that I tend to jump from one guy to another. One even said that she can’t keep track of whom I am dating because there’s been quite a few. Which in my defense, it’s like 4 guys in 1 year, 5 tops. Hey, I’m only 22!

But trust me, if I go out with you, it means I actually like you enough to go out with you. But if a second date doesn’t happen or I stop texting you, it means that we don’t click enough for me to want to take it any further.

I don’t flirt with every Tom, Dick and Harry. When I fall for someone, it’s hard for me to fall out of it. I have to say that out of the many, there has been only 3 guys that were able to make me truly fall for them .2 of them are faraway from me in the sense that they don’t live in Klang Valley and one is actually thousands of miles away from Malaysia. The other one I am still friends with.

The first one was amazing but I was too young to fully understand what we had or appreciate him. The second one has great chemistry with me and I loved him and he knows it. But the miles apart affected the feelings that I had and he became too horny for my liking and he made me feel objectified. The last one was very complicated and we both made mistakes, but I still have feelings for him, I won’t lie.:)

There, I am not on some kind of celibacy since there were many almosts. The thing is, I prefer to date around rather than be in a relationship that makes me miserable, feels trapped or won’t go anywhere. When I do settle down with a guy and commit to him, it would be for the long run and I will be the best girlfriend to him ever..cehwah. hahaha.