Oh really?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 Liyana Hanim 4 Comments

I know I'm a girl,but sometimes I truly wish that I can beat people up!Like go up to them and give them a huge kick in the ass & let it rip!grrrrrrr

This my blog and it's about my LIFE..what I do,how I feel,where I go and yada2.If you don't like what I write here,then don't read it!Easy right?

How can anybody in my situation,be okay & not be bitter, when someone who 'claimed' that they love you & was thankful to have you, just stop contacting you although you have tried to be very nice & make things work,even when all of your friends say DON'T!Cos' I want to believe that despite the cool demeanor,he has a heart lying in there somewhere.But I was proven wrong time and time again & of course,it hurts.It's like you can't help but wonder if all that was said before this was just a big fat lie?

And it's not something you can be okay with just like that.I have a heart & although we're not together anymore,although we don't see each other anymore,although we don't talk anymore,I still care.And it's sad when I think about the fact that he'd rather let his emotions get the best of him rather than stop to think it through.Although he claimed that I was the emotional one throughout our relationship,atleast I don't let it affect me for more than 1-2 days & then I'll be okay again..

But,clearly it wasn't me who's emotional now..Because I managed to tell him how I feel about our situation & even then, he still couldn't rationalize things..So what should I do but move on?Why I should I wait for someone who doesn't want to be waited for?

Most importantly,if this is a test from God to see whether we would last or not,what does it say about him and us?Cos' although he claimed that I threw him away,atleast I know what I did was wrong and tried to make things work..but ultimately,he was the one who pushed me further away from him and did not make an effort or even move an inch..he just stood still...

But it's okay, because with a whole lot of hurt,I know in time a lot of joy will come...I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason & I might not see it now,but I'm sure god has plans for me.Who knows right?


Zurin said...

I've been reading ur blog for a while, but haven't felt the need to comment until now. Ur strong, dear. I'm sure u'll come out of this even stronger. Been there, done that. Trust me. And if you need to vent and rant as much as possible to get there, by all means. This IS your blog, and whoever yang tak suka what you nak write about shouldn't even be here. :)

Li said...

Thank you zurin for reading this blog..:)

I used to think that I was strong but then at one point I did doubt myself when this happened..although in his eyes,i was the one who asked for it..but 2 wrongs doesn't make a right..

and it hurts when he gave up on me,on us..:(

And writing about your feelings help,A LOT..that is why I like to blog about it..because it helps me feel better...a bit la..

Anonymous said...

Agree with Zurin...if comment meant to hurt people, please reserved it.
Your entry reminds me of my experience. It makes me understand people better & reflects me as a mere human. Thanks Li.
Not a silent reader anymore (UiTM TESLian 2002-2007)

Li said...

anon:yes..through experiences,good or bad,we grow..right?this is just another rites of passage..i'm still trying to adjust myself and not think about it too much..